Dream life (for now)

When I’m older and have my own place (always temporary because I want to live everywhere before I’m totally okay with the idea of settling)

• dog (preferably a wolf-dog hybrid, Doberman, German Shepherd, St. Bernard, Siberian Husky, or Pitbull)
• Christmas lights / Christmas tree lit up in a dark room
• not a second to waste
• piano / keyboard on the floor
• no car
• tulips
• window seat in my bedroom
• the myth of Icarus and his wax wings
• “everywhere is walking distance if you have the time”

Used to be

Accurate depiction of my situation right now. It’s comforting and sad at the same time to know that I’m not the only one feeling like this. I still cry over the smallest things. Doesn’t even have to be directly related to him. I have my weak moments. I fake watching Korean dramas sometimes. So when someone comes inside the room, they’ll assume I’m crying over a kdrama even though I’m not. Haven’t worn mascara (yes, I know there is such a thing as waterproof mascara but I don’t like it) ever since summer because of the crying (wherever, whenever, whatever I’m doing) and it’ll be messy and I’m a mess. I know I should control myself but when the tears start, it’s hard to stop. Because along with those tears are emotions. And I don’t even want to start with the emotions now. I don’t know. I’ll stop here, I guess.

Don't mail it back

I’m going to take your pain and my pain and put it in a huge envelope and send it back to the people who gave it to us.

Do you know what you are getting yourself into?

I'm going to love you with my life, future boy. I don't know who you are or when you're coming my way but oh, I'm going to love you with my life, I will. No rush, though, okay?